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Breaking News

Parisians Threaten Mass Defecation Protest Over Polluted Seine River Ahead of Olympics

As the world prepares for the 2024 Paris Summer Olympics, a stinky scandal is unfolding along the banks of the Seine River - literally. Despite promises to clean up the polluted waters, local authorities have failed miserably, leaving frustrated citizens planning an outrageous form of protest: a coordinated mass defecation into the very same river where Olympian athletes are expected to compete mere weeks later!

Surprisingly, international Olympic bigwig Christophe Dubi confidently declared only last week, "There are no reasons to doubt” that all Seine-based events “will go ahead as planned... We are confident that we will swim in the Seine this summer!”

It looks increasingly likely that either way, someone will indeed wind up wading through something rather unsavory come July...

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